This weekend sees the return of what is probably my favourite of all the motorsports series I’ve followed in the 20 years since I was first exposed to four-wheeled fun – the British Touring Car Championship.

For those not aware of what the “BTCC” is, it’s a national race series for production-based cars, like this:



It’s been going for over fifty years now, and every round is shown live or almost-live on ITV4.  Over the years some ex Formula One drivers have taken part – Gabriele Tarquini, Gianni Morbidelli, Jim Clark, Stirling Moss, Johnny Herbert, Julian Bailey and even Nigel Mansell – but it’s generally the local drivers that have made bigger names for themselves.

Whilst men like John Cleland, Matt Neal, Tim Harvey, Andy Rouse, Gerry Marshall, Rob Gravett, Win Percy or Colin Turkington may not be household names, to me and many like me they are known as Driving Gods and Tim Harvey.  Only joking, Tim!

To do this preview I’m going to tell you the story of what I’ve seen following the BTCC for over twenty years.  I remember my first BTCC race well, way back in 1992.  That was the year that the aforementioned Tim Harvey took his only championship, beating John Cleland in an awesome final round at Silverstone.  I watched the regular season on TV, aged 14, just as I had done for a few years by then – since about 1988 I think.  It was shown on the BBC, with commentary by Murray Walker.  That last race was particularly memorable – Harvey (BMW) and Cleland (Vauxhall) had gone into the final round separated by just a single point.  I was captivated watching on TV – this was the days before the internet, I didn’t read any of the motorsport press at the time and Ceefax barely covered the BTCC so I hadn’t a clue who was going to win.

During the race, Harvey and Cleland ran together most of the time, behind the now late Will Hoy (left, with me in 1994).  With two laps to go Harvey, ever the racer, made an attempt to get past Hoy, forcing both wide (Hoy onto the grass) and Cleland nipped up the inside of both of them – putting himself firmly in position for the championship.  Harvey’s team-mate Steve Soper also got past so now it was Cleland – Soper – Harvey.  Soper managed to pass Cleland, the fiery Scotsman Cleland showing his displeasure by making obscene hand gestures.

Cleland then tried to pass Soper back, but Harvey was close enough to make an attempt around the outside, which was blocked but he used his first pass as a dummy and sailed up the inside.  Naturally, Soper then let Harvey through to give him a bit of a buffer.  Cleland, now desperately in need of something big to happen to win the championship, dived inside Soper a few corners later – only for Soper to close the door, sending the Vauxhall onto two wheels.  Cleland managed to get past – only for Soper to then dive back up the inside, cutting onto the grass and taking both out.  It was as controversial as it got, and Cleland and Soper never got on again.

I loved it, and forced my Dad to take me to my first ever circuit race - as such, my entire motorsport watching passion is thanks to Tim Harvey.  Eek.  This first race was the 1992 TOCA Shootout at Donington, a non-championship BTCC race with incredibly complicated rules and completely artificial racing thanks to a safety car being deployed whenever the field spread out too much.  I forget who it was won by, my biggest memory coming as a result another driver who’s no longer with us, Kieth O’Dor, flipping his car over the catch fencing right in front of where we were sitting.  It was scary stuff, and certainly a great bit of excitement for a 14 year old.  I was hooked.

In 1993 we only managed to make one meeting, the TOCA Shootout again.  This time though, there were a few more people there thanks to one Nigel Mansell making a guest appearance.  Frankly, it was hell.  Mansell-mania was still sweeping the country, this was just after he added the IndyCar crown to his F1 title and I’d liken it to the feeling fans of lower-league football teams have should their team get to Wembley – the place was full of people there who didn’t care about the BTCC, confused by why Mansell’s car had a roof on it.  It may have only been my second race, but I already felt a little bit of superiority over these beer-swillers since we’d been the year before.

Racing at this time was Tiff Needell, who at one time was a household name as a presenter on the original version of Top Gear and later Fifth Gear.  Running just behind Mansell in the race, Mansell lost the car coming out of the Old Hairpin fishtailing side-to-side before clipping the front end of Tiff’s Vauxhall and spearing off into a bridge.  The spectators collectively gasped as blankets were set up around Mansell’s car – even in those days, before the Senna/Ratzenberger F1 tragedies of a year later we thought something tragic had happened.  In the end he was just shook up a bit, and we faced a mammoth 3 hour journey home.  Not good considering we’re only twenty minutes away.

1994 was when I was 16 and my Dad and I started to go racing more regularly.  We took in other championships like the DTM (Germany’s faster Touring car series) but the BTCC remained close to our hearts, taking in both rounds that took place at Donington that year, which is remembered for two cars – the awesome Alfa Romeo 155, which re-wrote the rulebook on aerodynamics, and the Volvo 850 estate… which also was something to do with aerodynamics, and bricks.  I was completely an Alfa fan, loving their cheekiness of having special aerodynamic bits in the boot of the car when it was being “homologated” (the design was registered inside and out with the organisers so that it wouldn’t be changed during the year and you could only use what was on or in the car itself), and with ex-F1 driver Gabriele Tarquini being a driver from the seminal Microprose F1GP game I loved their dominance.  In fact, in that picture of me at the top of the page with Will Hoy you can see my Alfa cap – signed by Tarquini, his team-mate Giampiero Simoni and, um, Tim Harvey.  Oh and Jackie Stewart.  I wish I knew where it was now.

My Alfa devotion didn’t last long though.  Since by now my Dad was driving a Vauxhall, I was supporting them in 1995.  The Cavalier that year was an awesome car, and I recorded every race off the television – and still have that tape put away to this day.  We managed to attend both Donington rounds too (and the DTM again).  Another big story for me that year was Kelvin Burt driving for Ford – I knew him to say hello to, thanks to him helping out at a local kart track I spent too much time at, and some work he did at Donington of which I was a member of the supporters club by then.

Vauxhall had decided to scrap the Cavalier for 1996, and introduced the Vectra which was a bit of a dog – especially when up against the four wheel drive Audi A4 of the German Frank Biela that dominated the championship that season.  To be honest, it wasn’t that memorable a season, what I remember most was hearing of Kieth O’dor’s death in Germany, which was unbelievable.  But I was there for the Donington rounds as usual, still loving it.

1997 though was very different.  It was the first season that I had my own car (a red Ford Fiesta) and finally had the independence to go and see what I wanted.  I didn’t go to any circuit other than Donington, but now I was there for both days, I went to pre-season tests – the works (even going to most other events at Donington, including the Bike Grand Prix which was amazing).  It was the year that Jason Plato made his debut, I remember him taking pole in the qualifying session for the first race whilst I was sat on the roof of my car down by the Spitfire on the circuit.

By the following year I’d got a proper job and the motorsport bug really hit – with of course the BTCC at the centre.  I’d now got enough money to get a reasonable car, and it was no coincidence that I bought myself a Vauxhall Cavalier – white, just like the cars that won the title in 1995.  I loved that car, a four-door saloon that was far too big for a young driver like me.  Having that car I of course joined the Vauxhall fan club to show my support.  I actually won a competition early that year to spend a day in the pits with the team at a test, but my nasty old boss wouldn’t let me go, so the Vauxhall team graciously allowed me to have some tickets in hospitality at the Donington rounds – I’d done some hospitality at some club events the season before but this was another level, which I’d love to do again (but probably won’t!)

This was the season I really followed the BTCC around.  I made it to Silverstone twice, Donington both times as usual (including a great performance in the wet from a returning Nigel Mansell) and took my longest journey at that point to Thruxton for a couple of mid-season races, even parking next to reigning champion Alain Menu on race day, who was happy to stop for a chat.

In 1999 I again did the Donington and Silverstone rounds, but it was apparent that at this point the cars were starting to get just a bit too fast and the series too professional.  Nissan dominated the year, Frenchman Laurent Aiello and the late David Leslie taking a one-two in the standings.  This was also the first season without Tim Harvey, who I’d labelled a bit of a crasher at this point – whichever race I went to, he seemed to crash off at the first corner.

2000 was a watershed year for the championship.  Although I’d started my love affair with Shrewsbury Town by this point, I was still committed to the BTCC and managed to get to the Donington and Silverstone rounds again.  Grids were down at this point, the series had just become too expensive – resulting in a “Class B” being added.  The organisers tried to innovate though, and the last round at Silverstone was held as a night race.  This was the only race event my brother ever came with me too, and whilst I loved it he didn’t get bitten by the bug!

The following year it was all change, as new regulations meant much lower costs and smaller cars.  Vauxhall now ran the Astra, and it destroyed the field in a manner not seen since the late 80s when the Ford RS2000s were running.  To be honest, I didn’t really like the new cars – Super Touring, as the previous regulations were called, were in their heyday a much more exciting prospect.  I still managed to get to the Donington rounds, but that was all that year – I’d discovered women.

2002 only saw me do one round at Donington, and it was another season of dominance for the Astra.  It was a year that I started to have loads of personal problems, and by the end of the year I was unemployed and on the verge of bankruptcy so touring cars were the last thing on my mind.  I still watched on TV, but I honestly remember nothing about it, or the next few years.

It wasn’t until the end of 2004 that I managed to see a race again, and even then that was a special one-off.  They’d announced there’d be a “BTCC Masters” race after the last round at Donington, with loads of older drivers returning and my Dad made sure we went.  It was really enjoyable and I wish they’d done it again. 

But that was it for a few more years – life got in the way.  I had very little money and by this time was in a committed relationship so I didn’t go at all.  Then last year my Dad had a crazy idea to go and see the DTM once more, now at Brands Hatch.  In the months leading up to it, I wasn’t bitten by the bug again but I was certainly intrigued enough to see what it was like now - and when my Dad won tickets to the “A Question of Motorsport” Honda event before the BTCC at Silverstone we just had to go.  It was a fantastic evening in the company of ex-F1 driver Johnny Herbert and – of course – Tim Harvey.  At the end of it there was a raffle, including multiple pairs of tickets to the races at Silverstone the next day. 

Little did I know that this would be such a turning point.  I really fancied going to the race, and put all my hopes on winning.  When we didn’t, I was despondent.  I’d noticed though that the gentleman two rows in front of us’s son had been given tickets by Tim Harvey just for being a kid, but they were already going the next day so offered them to the people behind them, who declined since they were already going too.  As soon as the raffle finished, I was straight up to the bloke and asked him if I could buy the tickets off him.  He refused, and gave me them for free – a fantastic bit of generosity.  I was overjoyed, deep down I knew that the old fire for watching motorsport was back and made plans with my Dad for the next day.  When we got back to the car another chap came up to us, and asked me if I wanted his tickets he’d won in the raffle since he was already going.  If I was religious I’d say it was God’s way of making sure I put my life back to where it was.  But I’m not, so what a fantastic coincidence.

The next day at Silverstone was amazing.  We just slipped back into it so quickly – walking round the circuit, trawling through the pits… just like we used to.  The racing was great and it was as if we’d never been away.  In the years I’d stopped doing everything I used to do I’d been to Shrewsbury matches probably a dozen or more times (not that I admitted to that on Blue and Amber – they like to see me as someone who never goes, and that suited the TMLS character), but it didn’t feel as right as this.  I’m a motorsport fan first and foremost, not a football fan.  As we sat on the grandstand, watching the Belgian Grand Prix on TVCatchup on my iPhone, we looked forward to the DTM at Brands Hatch that was the following week.  We were doing an epic three days there, and I knew then that it wouldn’t be the last race I went to.  And when we were at the DTM, we decided it definitely wasn’t.

We were back at Brands within a month for the BTCC finale.  We’d missed a round at Rockingham in the middle due to being elsewhere, and due to fatigue from a stupidly early drive (we weren’t staying over) we stopped at the car all day on the hill facing the paddock.  The atmosphere was amazing, and equal to ten Shrewsbury matches (not sure if that says something about the Shrewsbury support – probably does if we’re talking about the new ground).  It just felt so natural to be there, and we were treated to some great racing and my pick for the title, Colin Turkington, prevailing.

Over the winter I started to make plans for a 2010 of motorsport.  For a few months I planned to go to every round, something I’d never done.  When I finally sat down and worked out that meant 2500 miles of driving I soon changed my mind, but we’ve worked out a plan to do about half the season.  This year we’re going to Thruxton this weekend for the opening round – staying over on Saturday night so that we can go to qualifying earlier that day (and meaning a very mad rush back to the hotel to catch the new Dr Who series).  It feels great to be back, now let’s hope for an awesome season!

The first thing that catches your eye looking at the entry list is the lack of a car number 1, as Turkington isn’t defending his championship thanks to lack of sponsorship – hopefully he’ll be out later in the year though.  As such, the man to beat this year once again will be Jason Plato.  He’s racing a Ray Mallock Chevrolet under the Silverline name once again, but this time it’s the Cruze rather than the “reasonably priced” Lacetti.  The Cruze has been a great car in the World Touring Car Championship, and has looked quick in testing.  Certainly one to beat.  Team-mate Alex MacDowell is new to the series, but was runner-up in the Clios last year so shouldn’t be too far off the pace.

The team most likely to challenge Plato are “Honda Racing Team”, who really are Team Dynamics, but now under a works banner.  Matt Neal returns to drive for his father’s squad, and should be up there from the start - he's always done well in the team, thriving in the family atmosphere.  His biggest problem has always been his tendency to be a bit over-aggressive, but he knows how to win a championship so can never be discounted.  Alongside him is the fast but under-funded Gordon Shedden, finally back in a full-time drive after a stop-start year in the previous season driving for the Cartridge World team.  "Flash" Could be a dark horse for the championship, and race wins should be a certainty.

The third of what are probably six front-running teams this year are Airwaves BMW.  Mat Jackson’s heading the squad, and surely must be up at the front after proving himself a fan favourite last year in the Chevrolet.  Jackson’s performances in the BMW in 2008 were fantastic, and he’ll be front-runner for sure.  Alongside him is Steven Kane, the former BRDC Autosport Young Driver of the Year.  Kane put some in some good showings as Jackson’s team-mate in 2008, and the renewal of the partnership should see him build on that.  Might take the odd race win, but he’s got a learning curve having been out of the series last year.

Also in BMWs are the pair driving for West Surrey Racing, who last year competed as Team RAC – taking Turkington to the title.  Rob Collard moves over from the Airwaves team, and proved himself to be a front-runner last year and could be a true contender this time around.  West Surrey's pedigree cannot be argued against - they were the team that took Ayrton Senna to the British Formula 3 title nearly thirty years ago.  Collard could well be worth a punt.  Alongside him is Andy Neate who's making a long awaited debut.  Neate was meant to drive for the team last year, but a massive accident in the 2008 BRITCAR 24 hours at Silverstone (the one which BBC Top Gear entered) left him with a broken neck and he had to spend a year out.  He showed a lot of promise before the injury.

Next up, Triple Eight Race Engineering - the former works Team VXR Vauxhall team have been up at the front for years, but without the Vauxhall backing this year they could drop a little pace.  Add in to that an inexperienced lead driver in Phil Glew apparently leading the team and they might not be quite at the top of the timesheets straight away.  But the team are sound and shouldn’t be too far off come the end of the season.  Formula Renault champion Dean Smith has tested with an eye on the second seat, but with so much single-seater promise it might not be the right thing for him to do at this stage of his career.  Could the seat be begging for Turkington?

The last of the expected front-runners, Team AON, were without doubt the most improved team over the season last year, and with Tom Chilton and Tom Onslow-Cole returning to drive the Ford Focuses they should be able to finish where they left off.  Chilton could be a decent shout for a winner on the long straights of Thruxton, the power advantage the Focus enjoys was evident down the long straights at Brands Hatch last year.  Onslow-Cole has been one of the BTCC nearly men of the last couple of years, and has the pace – he just needs to now take this opportunity to underline it.

Just outside what I’d expect to be the “big six” are the Techspeed drivers, once again backed by sunshine.co.uk, John George and crowd favourite Paul O’Neil.  George tooled around at the back for most of 2009, and the years before it, and has the reputation of being a bit of a gentleman driver – being in charge of a successful mobile phone company called JAG Communication certainly lends weight to that theory.  But the Techspeed cars weren’t far off the pace last year, so he’s got a good opportunity in front of him.  O’Neil, winner of the BTCC.net Fans’ Trophy last year, is best known outside of racing as being the former Sporty Spice’s half-brother – and she’s turned up occasionally to support him.  We saw quite a few times last season though that he’s a decent racer, undoubtedly his best performance coming at Snetterton when he took a fantastic third place.  He’s also one of the nicest racing drivers you could meet.

As usual, there are a number of Independents who’ll make up the rest of the field, able to benefit should the reverse grid be favourable in the third race.  Newcomers Forster Motorsport have proven to be a popular team during the pre-season, having an interesting Twitter account and keeping potential fans updated.  Another of the crowd favourites, Dave Pinkney, returns in his own team once again after driving for Team Dynamics last year.  Tom Boardman rejoins the grid in a SEAT Léon for Special Tuning UK after driving in the WTCC, and Martin Johnson is back in an Astra coupe again. Lea Wood steps up from the Welsh Sports and Saloon Car Championship in a Honda Integra for Central Group racing; Matt Hamilton’s back in a Honda Civic for TH Motorsport.

The other two cars are probably the more exciting of the non-front running independents.  Andrew Jordan’s back racing for his father’s new team Pirtek Racing in a Vauxhall Vectra after a season in the works model.  Jordan proved himself to be fast, and his Dad knows how to prepare a winning car.  They won’t be up at the front too often, but could well spring a surprise or two.  Finally, the last entrant is Shaun Hollamby and the AmDMilltekRacing.com team – on paper that’s no more special than the other independents, but as the car’s a Volkswagen Golf that hasn’t been seen in the series before it could prove very popular.  The pictures of the car from the pre-season show it to have been immaculately prepared and even if it’s not on the pace it should be good to look at.
 

As for the circuit… Thruxton is hailed as “The Fastest Circuit in Britain” and there’s no doubt about that.  Since my Grand Prix track previews based on my computer gaming knowledge have proven popular, here’s a look at it in detail:
 

Heading over the start-finish line, the first corner is a sweeping right hander that often causes opening lap collisions as the exit isn’t open enough for cars being two or three wide.  There’s then a flat-out left-handed kink, which doesn’t see too much drama as that’s already happened.
 

The third corner is the first part of the chicane famous for plenty of panel-bashing over the years.  The first part is a ninety-degree right, but there’s no time to think as you’re straight into the almost ninety-degree left afterwards.  Then it’s a right kink that the cars can take flat if they’ve got the right line accelerating all the way.  If you’re on your own, it’s an important part of the circuit as a good exit sets you up for the best speeds for the straights that make up most of the rest of the circuit.
 

The first straight isn’t overly long, but it feeds into a fast left hand-right hand combination that you might need to drop a gear for – depending on what sort of grip your car’s got.  The right hand part of it is constantly turning, if you have lifted for the first part it’s taken flat out under acceleration.  The interesting part of the circuit here is that no spectators are allowed around this section – it’s just too fast and dangerous, there have been some absolutely massive crashes over the years.  Once you’re finally through the right hander, there’s a short straight and another right kink – into the fastest part of the circuit.
 

One of the things you notice from the track map is that the straights really aren’t all that straight – but they’re smooth long turns, that are as good as a straight.  At the end of this main straight though is the difficult and very slow chicane – made all the more awkward by the straight having a tighter right hander at the end of it right in the braking zone for the chicane.  This is where the main spectator grandstands are, and where we’ll be on Sunday.  Plenty of overtaking here, and plenty of mistakes too.  After the chicane, it’s back onto the curving pit-straight and round you go again.

Well that’s it – if you’ve managed to read all that, thanks a lot!  Here’s to a good weekend of racing.  Don't forget you can watch the all the racing live on ITV4 - this Sunday from 11am.  Commentators are Ben Edwards... and of course Tim Harvey.

Until next time…

Daniel

All photos are (C) Daniel Francis 2010.  None may be reproduced or used in any way without permission.
Thruxton diagram and corners reproduced/amended under the Creative Commons 3.0 licence.  Original file created by Will Pittenger.

OK then, I admit it.  This blog was written all in one and shouldn’t really have been split in two.  But frankly, yesterday’s was running just a little too long even for my tastes, so I decided a split was a good idea.  So let’s just get straight on with the track guide:

Sepang’s another of those circuits I’ve played loads of times on the computer, but it’s not one I’d consider myself to be that much of a specialist (as much as you can be in a game) in, like I would an Albert Park, Monaco, Silverstone, Spa or Monza.  I don’t think I’ve ever played it online, and I wouldn’t consider it amongst my favourite tracks.  Still, it’s one I’d consider to provide decent overtaking spots, and there’s always a chance of rain  so it should be a good race.  As long as the rain’s not as hard as last year.
 

Heading down the fairly long main straight into the first corner, drivers need to change their psychology a little bit to normal, as the curving nature of the hairpin that is Turn 1 requires a much later apex than appears at first glance.  As they exit the turn, you immediately have to change direction for the left-handed Turn 2 and for this reason you’ll often see cars give a little more room when being overtaken in the first part so they’ve got a better position for the second. 

Sometimes though, especially on the first lap, cars will manage to stay side by side all the way into Turn 3, which is a flat-out sweeping right-hander leading onto a reasonably sized straight.  Oh, and is it just me or does that picture above look a little like the Devil’s Hairpin at Mallory Park?  Now THAT would be somewhere to see an F1 race!

After the straight coming out of Turn 3, Turn 4 is a 90° right hander so if they’re still side-by-side then they won’t be coming out.  Turns 5 and 6 are fast sweepers, taken flat-out by the current cars.  6 used to be a little tricky, a bump in the middle of it would upset the car quite a lot, causing you to run a little too wide coming out, but we saw last year that had been sorted.

Turn 7’s another 90° right-hander, but the camber allows you to take it a good bit faster than the first one so it’s more of a kink – but you’re straight away into Turn 8, which looks a little more open on that map but is actually tighter than you’d think, and you really have to fight the car to settle it if you want to take it smoothly – which is important, as there’s a decent straight afterwards.

Heading into Turn 9 is another overtaking spot, and it’s tight enough that if you’ve got the inside line it’s only the very brave who’ll be able to keep alongside and re-pass back into Turn 10.  Turn 10 is flat out, but by the time you’re at a decent speed you’re braking for Turn 11, which is another 90° right hander.  You might see some overtaking into there, but not not too much as any cars closely behind will have lost their front-end aerodynamics in 10 and had to back off slightly.

Down another short straight into turn twelve, no overtaking here as it’s a fast left-handed kink, which is quickly followed by a similar right-hander that feeds into the very awkward Turn 14.  14’s my least favourite corner on the circuit; all your instincts tell you the racing line is to hug the inside of 13 like you would any other similar corner, but you’re straight into 14 so if you do that you compromise your entry there, meaning you’re slower out and at a disadvantage down the mammoth straight that follows.

The straight that leads from 14 into Turn 15 seems to go on forever, and in a wet race must be incredibly scary – 15 is a second gear left-hander, that you really have to hit the brakes for, and in the wet you’re completly unsighted.  We saw a fair bit of carnage around here in last year’s monsoon.  In the dry it’s not too bad, but it’s easy enough to miss your braking point if someone’s making a pass, and you often see cars just skirting acros the entrance to the pitlane on the outside of the turn and over the grass back onto the main straight.  Then it’s a straight run down to Turn 1 and we start all over again...

Still to come this week, my preview of the first round of the British Touring Car Championship, for which I shall be at Thruxton in attendance.

I’ve had a bad weekend, all considered.  I missed watching the Australian Grand Prix live thanks to having some kind of illness that robbed me of any energy I had, Shrewsbury had yet another loss that illness again robbed me of watching my traditional first hour of Wrestlemania.  Still though, my recent blogs have been well received by the target audiences so less about me and more about the subject.  Like last week, I’m doing a couple of blogs this week.  Part 2 of this blog will appear tomorrow, and Wednesday or Thursday will see my preview of the opening round of the British Touring Car Championship, but today I’m going to look back at the Australian Grand Prix and forward to next Sunday’s Malaysian Grand Prix.

I’m sure all the naysayers who bemoaned the lack of overtaking in the Bahrain Grand Prix will have been much more entertained by the race around Albert Park.  It underlined the old Murray Walker saying perfectly – “for excitement in Formula One, just add water.”  At the same time, there was a good race for those of us who watch F1 for the strategy, with different pit-stop strategies resulting in a lot of potential changes to look out for.

I have to admit, with me not being 100% I missed the F1 Forum and I haven’t read too much of the aftermath other than a quick flick over Autosport.com.  There’s still plenty to talk about though, so here’s my almost-regular team by team feature with a few more bits added (but no pictures this week – royalty-free pictures don’t tend to be available this quick!):

McLaren – Mercedes

Lewis Hamilton – Qualified: 11th; Race: 6th 5/10

Jenson Button – Q: 4th; R: 1^st 10/10

“It should have been a one-two” exclaimed Lewis Hamilton.  Well, yes – maybe it could, if he had the same size cahunas as his team-mate.  Button’s call early in the race to switch to slicks proved to be right on the money – sure, he had a slight off straight away that might have meant Vettel would have had him covered if he didn’t retire, but he proved to be the spiritual successor to Alain Prost that so many of us thought he was with an intelligent, smooth race just as it was needed. 

Australia brings out the worst in Hamilton – last year he was proven to be a dirty liar, this year he’s shown that he’s a petulant little swine who doesn’t like it when things don’t go his way.  His boss Martin Whitmarsh mentioned in the BBC qualifying show that Lewis hadn’t taken his arrest the previous night very well mentally (he was showing off a burnout at the wheel of a Mercedes road car – in front of the local cops who promptly nicked him for reckless driving), possibly resulting in a poor qualifying performance.  Come the race, he had a great little start that saw him pass two other cars, but he went along with the team strategy rather than reading the race himself, and a superfluous second pit-stop robbed him of any chance of a podium finish – actually no, that’s wrong.  His inability to capitalise on the fresher tyres by passing Alonso robbed him of it.

Some my blame the aerodynamics for that, but he managed to pass other cars – including the other Ferrari, and he was close enough a couple of times but didn’t take it.  I still believe he’s naturally faster than Button, but he’s got completely the wrong attitude – going on the radio to moan about the team’s strategy, a childish little “I’m going to find out” when asked who made the call… sure, I know that privately drivers have to be selfish in order to drive themselves on.  Over the years I’ve met some absolute w**kers (Ralf Schumacher I’m looking at you), but it’s not befitting of a McLaren driver to be so public about it – that was Alonso’s undoing.  That said, it wasn’t his fault he was taken off by Webber and was lucky to finish 6^th – albeit in the shadow of Button.

Malaysia: Whilst you’d hope for more of the same from Button, for all the good decision making he made there was as much of a case for it being in the “right place at the right time” and he’ll do well to get a podium if it stays dry.  Hamilton simply has to have a better weekend; I’d expect him to bounce back with a podium whatever the weather.

Renault

Robert Kubica – Q: 9^th; R: 2^nd 10/10

Vitaly Petrov – Q: 18^th; R: Spun out 2/10

A fantastic drive to second for Kubica, and you’d have been given decent odds on that after qualifying, let alone before the weekend.  The conditions may have played a part, that much was certain, but they’re the same for everybody and it was the sort of race that brings the best drivers to the fore.  It certainly makes it look like the Renault chassis is a sound base for the team to build on, and who knows – perhaps a race in similar conditions towards the end of the year could mean “lumping on” could be worth it. 

As for Petrov… well, that was a weekend to forget.  With the new teams still languishing at the bottom of the timesheets there was only going to be one of the drivers from the “established” teams not make it to the second qualifying session – and it shouldn’t have been someone in a Renault, especially considering that his team-mate made it to the third Qualifying session.

Malaysia:  Unless we see the conditions in Sepang that we saw last year, it’ll be hard for Kubica to capitalise on this podium, expect to seem him in the lower part of the top 10.  Petrov must do better or he risks looking like a Grosjean.

Ferrari

Fernando Alonso – Q: 3^rd; R: 4^th 8/10

Felipe Massa – Q: 5^th; R: 3^rd 8/10

Some might say I’ve marked down the Ferraris a little bit – what they did was solid enough and it was a mostly uneventful run to third and fourth place finishes.  Alonso’s race was almost scuppered by a touch he had with Button at the start, but the team admitted that was a racing incident.  They shouldn’t have been behind Kubica, but weren’t able to pass him thanks to their almost-threadbare tyres, and Massa showed he’s not quite at his team-mate’s level by not being able to keep Hamilton behind when he was trying to pass, and was lucky not to suffer a puncture from it.

Malaysia:  Sure to have another solid weekend and Alonso won’t want Massa to beat him on the track again.  If something happens to the Red Bulls (again), expect another 1-2.

Mercedes

Michael Schumacher – Q: 7^th; R: 10^th 6/10

Nico Rosberg – Q: 6^th; R: 5^th 8/10

Oh dear.  After some promising practice sessions where Schumi was fastest of all, he looked like he’d finally gone back to his old self – until Rosberg banged the time in when it mattered and outqualified him.  Never mind though, when it became obvious it was going to rain we expected the usual virtuoso performance from the regenmeister.  But it didn’t happen.  Instead, a broken wing on the first stop necessitated a quick change under the pace car, and upon the re-start Schumi decided to spend twenty laps or so behind the Toro Rosso of Alguersari.  This wasn’t the Schumacher of old.  Despatching of de la Rosa a bit more easily, Schumi took the final point in tenth – not the best earned one of his long career, and a comeback that’s looking a bit like Mansell’s in 1995.  How long before we find out the chassis is too small and Nick Heidfeld takes over?

Rosberg had a better time of it despite going on the extra stop strategy that proved to be slower, and whilst Hamilton was closing on Alonso and Webber closing on Hamilton, Rosberg was closing on both of them showing a decent turn of speed, inheriting fifth when Webber took Hamilton off.

Malaysia:  I can’t believe Schumacher will be off Rosberg’s pace for too long, but Malaysia might be too soon.  I expect Rosberg to be capable of challenging for the podium, with Michael not too far behind.

Force India – Mercedes

Adrian Sutil – Q: 10^th; R: Engine failure after 10 laps 7/10

Vitantonio Liuzzi – Q: 13^th; R: 7^th 8/10

Another decent race for Liuzzi, as he took more points with a decent 7^th place finish adding to the 9^th place he had in Bahrain.  How many points that is I haven’t a clue thanks to the silly new points system (he’s got 8 points overall – ridiculous for a 7^th and a 9^th, in the good old days he’d have had a big fat 0!).  He did a decent job of keeping Barrichello behind him too.  Sutil did very well to get into the third qualifying session, edging out Hamilton, but didn’t get the chance to capitalise on it when his engine let go.  A shame, as that Force India’s looking racey and I still rate him over Liuzzi.

Malaysia:  They’ve got a good little car there; both are capable points scorers so expect to see them around about 8^th.

Williams – Cosworth

Rubens Barrichello – Q: 8^th; R: 8^th 8/10

Nico Hulkenberg – Q: 15^th; R: Retired on the first lap due to a collision 5/10

It was all about the eights for the ever-dependable Barrichello, qualifying and finishing in the same position – so what other rating could I give him?  It’s a shame he wasn’t able to use his experience to get past Liuzzi at the end, but he’s showing he’s still got the speed he had last year.  Nico Hulkenberg was taken out by Krazy Kobayashi on the first lap, and had been disappointing in qualifying.

Malaysia:  Same sort of prospects as Force India, but Barrichello’s experience could move him a place or two higher.  Hulkenberg surely has to show his promise soon, expect points if he keeps it on the track.

Red Bull – Renault

Sebastian Vettel – Q: 1^st; R: Brake failure after 25 laps 10/10

Mark Webber – Q: 2^nd; R: 9^th 7/10

It was a massively disappointing weekend for the Red Bull team, who underlined once again that when it comes to outright speed, they’ve got the fastest car in the field.  An absolute stonker of a qualifying lap from Vettel saw him claim pole with a swagger not seen since Schumacher’s glory days, with a time that was just unbelievable.  Last week I previewed the race using my knowledge of the track from playing Grand Prix 4, and I don’t think I ever managed to set a time anywhere near that around Albert Park – it was THAT ridiculous.  He was walking the race too, his only challenge would have come from Button had he not gone off after changing tyres.  Brake failure was a bitter pill to have to swallow, and you have to wonder if he’s going to need the points the car’s lost him come the end of the year – imagine had the same things happened to Button this time last year.

Mark Webber was in an unenviable position all weekend.  The Aussie fans expected the world from him, with one lucky race goer on Shrewsbury Town’s Blue and Amber forum saying they treated him as if he was a World Champion.  Perhaps this all went to his head in the race, as something got in the way for a silly mistake towards the end when he took out Hamilton in a very reckless manner.  He was a very lucky boy to finish 9^th.

Malaysia:  “Fast but fragile” will probably still apply in Malaysia, and I wouldn’t be surprised to see another front row lockout.  Still, Vettel’s got to finish sooner rather than later, and when he does it’ll be on the top step most likely.  Webber does well around Malaysia, so could be up there.

Toro Rosso – Ferrari

Sebastian Buemi – Q: 12^th; R: Spun off on the first lap 6/10

Jaime Alguersari – Q: 17^th R: 11^th 6/10

A good qualifying performance from Buemi showed that my accusations of the team going back to their Minardi days may have been a bit premature, but spinning as part of the collision with Kobayashi and Hulkenberg meant he wasn’t able to do what Vettel did in a wet race a couple of years ago.  Alguersari will be able to tell his grandchildren of the race he managed to prevent Michael Schumacher from overtaking him, and he finished just a couple of seconds behind the Mercedes as the best non-points scorer.

Malaysia:  Destined for a season in the upper-midfield, and that’ll be the case here.

BMW Sauber – Ferrari

Pedro de la Rosa – Q: 14^th; R: 12^th 6/10

Kamui Kobayashi – Q: 16^th R: Collision on the first lap 5/10

Sauber continued to disappoint compared to their pre-season performance and as the BBC pointed out that’s now looking more like a case of running the car light in order to attract sponsors – which doesn’t appear to have worked judging by the amount of space on the car.  De la Rosa settled into a decent rhythm during the race, moving up to 12^th from 14^th, but wasn’t able to replicate his countryman Alguersari’s ability to keep Schumacher behind, the Sauber being despatched far quicker than the Toro Rosso.  Kobayashi suffered a front wing failure on the opening lap, spearing him into Hulkenberg.  Shame, as he looked a decent prospect in the wet during the Japanese Grand Prix last year.

Malaysia:  Their version of McLaren’s F-Duct could come in handy on the long straights of Sepang, should they decide to race it, but it’s not going to propel them forward enough than to challenge for the back end of the points positions.  Expect Kobayashi to go well if it’s a monsoon.

Lotus – Cosworth

Jarno Trulli – Q: 20^th R: Did not start (Hydraulic failure) 7/10

Heikki Kovaleinen – Q: 19^th R: 13^th 8/10

Another race, another finish for the team I’ve thrown my support behind.  It’s unfair to comment on Kovaleinen’s race, since it was really just a glorified test session for the team.  Still, saying that, he only finished two laps behind – whilst you could point to the fact that it’s a shorter lap in Albert Park than that of Bahrain, it looked like progress – and compared favourably to the other newbies, who he’d also qualified in front of.  Lights to flag pole/victory in Class B as some are calling it.  Trulli failed to start after his hydraulics gave up just before the start, having qualified just behind his team-mate.

Malaysia:  Another glorified test session, but it’s their home race (whilst called “Lotus”, really they’re “Team Malaysia F1”) so expect them to get a lot of attention.  Were this the days of full tank qualifying I’d expect them to pull a trick to see them up the grid a little bit, but that can’t be done now so the best they can hope for is more of the same – and both cars to start.

Hispania Racing Team – Cosworth

Karun Chandhok – Q: 22^nd R: 14^th 7/10

Bruno Senna – Q: 21^st R: Hydraulics failure on the fourth lap 7/10

It was a promising weekend for HRT, with their cars outqualifying the Virgins and a fantastic first finish for both Chandhok and the team, albeit five laps adrift (and three behind the Lotus).  Like Lotus, it’s unfair to comment on their race with it being just a chance to put some mileage on the car, and sadly a couple of times Chandhok showed his inexperience by getting in the way of faster cars.  Senna had a quiet weekend – he qualified well, but the car failed too early for him to get any meaningful information on the car.

Malaysia:  Not sure they’re capable of getting both cars to the finish yet, but like Lotus it’s another test session.

Virgin Racing – Cosworth

Timo Glock – Q: 23^rd R: Suspension failure on lap 41 6/10

Lucas di Grassi – Q: 24^th R: Hydraulics failure on lap 26 6/10

Managing to complete 67 laps between the two cars during the race was the highlight for the team who went from being the fastest of the newcomers in qualifying in Bahrain to the slowest in qualifying here.  As with the other newcomers, this was no more than a test session.

Malaysia:  As with the other new teams, this is a test session – but Branson would love to see his team do well in Air Asia (Lotus owners)’s backyard, so could see some tricks.  We know they won’t make the finish unless there are safety cars, thanks to a fuel tank that won’t quite make it to the end of the race.

TOMORROW:  Track Preview

I promised long ago on this blog that I’d do one on wrestling some time.  Yes, I know, I’m 32 years old.  But I’ve been watching wrestling since I was at Junior School, when we’d catch WWF or WCW (the two main wrestling companies) programming on Central only in a 3am slot.  Obviously we’d tape it, and at school you could often see tapes swapped around.  A few years later it was on Sky, but I wasn’t one of the lucky ones to get it quickly. 

Thankfully a school friend of mine, Chris Laban, wrote summaries of what had been aired that I just loved reading and kept me in touch.  When the Summerslam Pay-Per-View was at Wembley stadium in 1992, I was one of the unlucky ones who didn’t go.  I remember being so jealous of another of those school friends, Peter Stringer, going to it.  It was a year after that we finally had Sky installed.  Finally I was able to watch it all myself, and I was a huge fan. 

I watched it for the rest of the 90s going to my first live event in 1999.  It was at the NEC, and was a WCW event.  WCW were the main rival to the WWF by then, and this was just about at the top of their height.  The main event that evening was Ric Flair vs. Curt “Mr Perfect” Hennig – two of my favourite stars over the years, and I felt honoured to have seen a Ric Flair match in person.  Plus the 21 year old me loved seeing a girl called Stacey Keibler (then “Miss Hancock”) – male fans will know what I mean!

My fandom carried on into the 2000s – until about 2002, when some personal issues of mine meant I lost Sky at around the time WWF became WWE.  That lasted until 2006, when I finally had my Sky back and I was able to slip into watching it again effortlessly – especially thanks to the fact I was (and still am) a lurker and very occasional poster on Digital Spy’s WWE thread, which I still think is one of the best discussion places for WWE.  I wish I had more time to post there.

But the one thing that has been a highlight throughout that time has been Wrestlemania.  In 1992, I borrowed a tape of it from Chris (as I had done for all the previous ones).  1993, I went to another school friend’s house to watch it – Vincent Bailey.  I’d been spoiled that Hulk Hogan would win the title there by Channel 4’s teen Teletext page “Buzz” – but I’d just thought that was a typical journalist lack of knowledge, as I knew full well he wasn’t in the title match – only for him to come out at the very end of the show and take the title.  Oops.  1994, Wrestlemania X – the first I watched at home, and loved the Bret Hart vs. Owen Hart match, and this was the first bit of wrestling I remember watching with my then four year old brother Alex. 

In 1995 I stayed up and watched it for the first time, as I did for the rest of the decade.  Wrestlemania X-Seven in 2001 is still my all-time favourite pay-per-view event.  The next one I’d see though wasn’t until 2007 and Wrestlemania 23.  Alex and I clubbed together and paid for it (which we hadn’t done before, as up until the point I stopped watching they were free) and still loved it.  Wrestlemania 24 had Ric Flair’s retirement match, proving that wrestling could make me cry.  Then last year there was the 25^th anniversary show, and what is still my favourite match of all time with the guy I’ve always followed, The Undertaker (even when it wasn’t cool to), against Shawn Michaels.

Now I know what any non-watchers are thinking.  It’s fake.  Well, so is most of TV.  Do you think Coronation Street’s real?  That Gordon Ramsey really went up and down the country trying all the different restaurants? What about Italian football?  Fact is, it’s drama.  It’s ballet with violence, as I recently heard someone call it and to be honest I don’t think it’s that much different from the Sci-Fi I always go on about. 

There’s a story, there’s action – what more could a man want?  Fake is really the wrong word.  It’s a scripted and choreographed drama - like Glee (only with less cheese).  I have no problem admitting to watching it at my age – why should someone stop watching something they enjoy just because some others think you should?  I admit to being a geek all the time… this is just another thing I’m geeky over.

But anyway, this weekend is Wrestlemania 26 from Phoenix, Arizona.  I’ve already booked it on the Sky.  I won’t be staying up to watch it – working Monday – but I’m anticipating a Wrestlemania night on Monday evening as I sit and watch the four hour spectacular.  But keeping with the “previews” direction that my blog has been going recently (don’t forget to check out the Australian Grand Prix preview, and next week should see a BTCC preview), I thought I’d take a look of it match by match.  But first, I thought I’d take a look at who’s going in to the Hall of Fame – as that’s when Wrestlemania weekend truly begins for me.

Antonio Inoki inducted by Stan Hansen

I’ll admit I know only a little bit about Inoki – with that little bit being that he was the guy who fought Mohammed Ali in a boxer versus wrestler match.

“The Million Dollar Man” Ted DiBiase inducted by Ted DiBiase (Jr) & Brett DiBiase

Now this is someone I definitely know.  DiBiase was around during what for me was the early 90s heyday of the WWF (yes, even more so than the Attitude area of the late 90s/early 00s) and was one of those guys I absolutely loved to hate.  Great on the mic and great in the ring, DiBiase may never have held the WWF Championship (officially) but he was right at the top for me.

Wendi Richter inducted by “Rowdy” Roddy Piper

I do actually remember her, not from the time but from when I watched the videos of previous Wrestlemanias – she was part of the “Rock and Wrestling” era, and I remember her in the cartoon too.  Technically decent, she may not be as big a name as a Trish Stratus or a Lita of recent years, or even a Sensational Sherri around her era, but deserves to be in there.

“Mad Dog” Vachon inducted by Pat Patterson

One of those old greats we hear people like Jim Ross (WWE commentator par excellence) eulogise over, and know to my generation of fans as “Luna’s father”.  From what the record books say, maybe not the most locked in Hall of Fame entrant but fair enough.

Bob Uecker inducted by Dick Ebersol

A celebrity inductee, he’s a baseball commentator who had two memorable appearances at Wrestlemanias 3 and 4.  But I don’t like the idea of celebrity inductees, so shouldn’t be in there.

Gorgeous George (inducted by:  TBA)

Any student of the industry will know the name Gorgeous George.  He was the person who set the scene for those that came after him, and since he was at his height in the 40s and 50s that’s a lot of people who owed their personas to him.  The quintessential heel (bad guy), it can easily be argued that if it weren’t for him there’d have been no “Nature Boy” Ric Flair.

Stu Hart expected to be inducted by Bret “Hitman” Hart or members of the Hart family

I was a massive Bret Hart fan, and a highlight of his matches in the 90s was when his parents would be shown.  But more than that, he trained some of the best mat wrestlers that have been seen whilst I’ve been watching.  Bret, Davey Boy Smith, Chris Benoit, Owen Hart, Chris Jericho, Edge, Christian… the list goes on.  Perhaps the main inductee in my view.

So that’s the Hall of Fame, and possibly one of the weaker line-ups in recent years from a mainstream point of view.  Now though, onto Wrestlemania itself.

Unannounced Divas Match

Really, who cares?  Clearly not the WWE, seeing as they haven’t even said there’s going to be one.  The toilet break match, which might even not be shown on the event itself if it’s on the pre-show.

Winner:  Melina in a shock return

Rey Mysterio vs. CM Punk in a Street Fight

I’ve quite enjoyed the build-up to this match.  We’ve seen a very creepy CM Punk, and I think the “Straight Edge Society” gimmick could be something very big if handled correctly.  The interaction a couple of weeks ago on Smackdown! when Rey brought his young daughter out to celebrate her birthday was probably as adult a gimmick as we’ll get in this PG-friendly WWE of the moment.  If Rey loses he has to join the Straight Edge Society – and for that reason, I think that’s the only outcome here even if I don’t think it’ll be a clean finish.  That is, unless the knee surgery Rey’s due to have means he needs to go off TV for a while…

Winner:  CM Punk

Randy Orton vs. Cody Rhodes vs. Ted DiBiase

The split of legacy hasn’t worked as well as it should have done.  DiBiase is a star in the making, but hasn’t taken his chance.  It’s a shame, as he’s as promising as any I’ve seen.  Rhodes is just someone I’ve never rated.  He’s not got the looks, and he hasn’t convinced me he’s got half the talent his old man has.  They’ve slowly been turning Orton face (good guy) over the last few months, which is disappointing as I think he was arguably the top heel within the company.  It’s also disappointing that you’ve got three stars with famous fathers but they’ve not used them in the build up.

Winner:  Randy Orton

Triple H vs. Sheamus

I’ll admit it – I’m the one.  I like Sheamus.  I first spotted him on the now defunct “The Wrestling Channel” on Sky a good four years ago, wrestling in a UK promotion.  Clearly he had “it” and being a bit of a monster but decent on the mic I could see him going a long way.  Sadly though, whilst it appears WWE shared my views of him by giving him a shock, long (by today’s standards) run with the title last year he just didn’t convince the rest of the fans.  Opponent Triple H is reportedly a big friend, and I wouldn’t be surprised to see Sheamus win this one for that reason.  Triple H winning just doesn’t really serve any purpose considering the relatively small amount of build-up there’s been.

Winner:  Sheamus

ShoMiz (The Miz & The Big Show) (C) vs. John Morrison & R-Truth for the Unified Tag Team Championships

I’m a big fan of The Miz.  I’m a big fan of John Morrison.  Recently, after seeing more of him on NXT and Smackdown!, I’m a big fan of R-Truth.  I can even recognise that Show’s capable of some decent stuff.  But I have a feeling that this match just isn’t going to work.  I’ve not liked ShoMiz as a tag team, and you can’t help but feel that Morrison and Truth have been chucked together to capitalise on their individual success.  If the Divas match actually is on the pre-show, this could be the time to go to the toilet.

Winner:  John Morrison & R-Truth

Bret “The Hitman” Hart vs. Vince McMahon No Holds Barred

The match 12 years in the making, and it’s going to be a brawl.  We’ve taken nearly three months to get to what’s been one of the most anticipated match-ups for recent years, and it should have been a roller coaster ride getting here.  Only… it didn’t quite work, did it?  The whole “Bret’s broken his leg… oh no he hasn’t” angle just seemed one thing too many, and the other problem with this match is that there really can be only one outcome – Bret wins by putting Vince in the sharpshooter.  The saving grace for that is that Bret’s advertised to still be with the company next month – what would give him a reason to stay if he wins the match?  Still, I’m not sure WWE’s bookers (writers) are that clever…

Winner:  Bret “The Hitman” Hart

Christian vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Kane vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Jack Swagger vs. MVP vs. Matt Hardy vs. Evan Bourne vs. Drew McIntyre vs. Kofi Kingston in a “Money In The Bank” Ladder Match

The Money In The Bank match is usually one of the highlights of Wrestlemania, and this year should be no exception.  That is, if it can overcome the handicap of having ten men in it instead of the usual eight – personally, I wouldn’t have bothered with Kane or Dolph Ziggler in it.  The key to picking a winner in this is looking at who’ll fit in best with a future storyline title win – although since no-one who’s ever cashed in the contract that’s suspended above the ring has failed to win the Championship, we must be due for an unsuccessful one some time.  So, looking at the participants… Dolph Ziggler, Kane, Evan Bourne – there’s no money to be made from any of them having a title run.  Shelton Benjamin, Jack Swagger, and MVP – I think they’re destined to be “nearly” men. 

That leaves it between Christian, Matt Hardy, Drew McIntyre and Kofi Kingston.  My head says it should be Christian, but I know McMahon’s not keen on him.  Kofi Kingston had a chance at a big run last year, but didn’t really reach the heights he should have done.  Matt Hardy would be a fan-pleasing move, and could be a way to take attention from brother Jeff being in the rival TNA promotion.  Drew McIntyre’s McMahon’s chosen one if the dirt sheets (independent news sites that spout A LOT of lies) are to be believed, and it could be a good way to set him on the path to the top.  The biggest question though will be over who takes the big bump (look like they hurt themselves the most by doing something outrageous), it was Shelton last year and I’d expect it to be Evan Bourne this year.

Winner:  Christian

Batista (C) vs. John Cena for the WWE Championship

This should be the most over-rated match on the whole card, but over the last few weeks we’ve seen Batista giving some fantastic promos to the point where I’m actually quite looking forward to seeing how Cena beats him.  Personally, I think Batista will walk out with the belt, even if Cena wins the match.  This could be the last match of the night, but it shouldn’t be.

Winner:  John Cena (but not Champion)

The Undertaker vs. Shawn Michaels Undertaker’s Wrestlemania winning streak vs. Shawn’s career in a No-Disqualification match

This should be the last match of the night!  Of course, looking at it with any ounce of common sense says there’s no way Undertaker will lose his 18-0 winning streak.  Shawn’s beaten up a bit, and wouldn’t retire properly anyway – he’d be back within a year, there’s not been the right build-up (like with Ric Flair two years ago).  Still… it’s WWE and they do like to surprise you.  But I really can’t see it – I think it’ll go down the way so many other observers think, with Triple H coming out towards the end and robbing Michaels of the shock win right as he’s about to score it.  Shawn will then be gone until the Royal Rumble at least, when Undie gives his blessing for a return since he didn’t beat Shawn fairly.

Winner:  The Undertaker

Chris Jericho vs. Edge

This won’t be the last match of the night, but it was the first we knew about.  The build-up really hasn’t worked; they’ve tried too hard to get Edge’s “SPEAR! SPEAR! SPEAR!” chant to catch on and it’s not really been taken by the fans.  What I’d like to see here is Edge to take a hard-fought win, be on the verge of collapse… only for his old friend Christian to come out and cash in his Money In The Bank from earlier – and possibly even have Edge win it.  But he won’t.  This has got “halfway-through main even that the heel wins” written all over it, and you can’t say Jericho doesn’t deserve another Wrestlemania moment.  Well, unless you saw him during the week singing Karaoke with David Arquette dressed as Randy Savage.  That was just bizarre.

Winner:  Chris Jericho

All in all then, I think it’ll be a decent show.  Sure, there are some disappointing looking matches there, but there always is and sometimes they’re so much better than we expect.  My biggest disappointment is that Jim Ross says he’s not going to be making a return to the commentary for this… but hopefully they’re just saying that.

Tie me Red Bull down, sport.

I actually tried to write this preview so that it started with a re-written version of “Tie Me Kangaroo Down, Sport” by Rolf Harris – but have you seen the lyrics to that?  It’s near-impossible for a five minute job!  Anyway, this intended celebration of an Australian classic can mean only one thing – it’s time for the Australian Grand Prix.

Normally when faced with being on the eve of a race around the Albert Park circuit, we’re gearing up to the beginning of a Formula One season.  This season though, as we all know we’re already two weeks into the season, after a race in Bahrain that’s been considered one of the most boring for a long time.

I don’t completely agree with that.  As someone who’s not missed a single race since 1990 (albeit some were watched a few hours later on tape) I can think of many more races that sent you to sleep.  Most races at Barcelona, for instance.  The first five races of the 1992 season.  The whole of the 2002 season. 

No, I don’t think this race was one of the worst.  Was it boring?  Certainly, if overtaking’s what you’re looking for from a Formula One race.  I’m not looking for that though – when I want to see overtaking, I watch NASCAR, IndyCar, MotoGP or the BTCC – there’s more to motorsport than F1! This is a game of chess, and Bahrain was more about watching the pieces fall into place.

I watched Bahrain transfixed by the performance being shown by Sebastian Vettel in the Red Bull.  From pre-season testing I knew his car was fragile – any seasoned observer could have seen the signs.  So watching him try to build the advantage he’d need when the car let him down was my focus – that didn’t bore me, it’s what I was looking for from the race.  You could see the Ferraris had the same idea as me, keeping a reasonable distance, ready to strike when something went wrong – and strike they did!

We now know that Vettel’s problem was to do with a faulty sparkplug, but I don’t believe that.  Those at the track could clearly hear other engine problems going on, and post-race we were shown on the BBC a horrendously burnt-away exhaust area on the Red Bull by Ted Kravitz.  A sparkplug doesn’t do that.  Clearly there are cooling issues, which tied in with what had been noticed in the pre-season.

It was a fine victory for Alonso, whom I’d picked as the man to beat this year in the preview I put on this blog two weeks ago.  The Ferrari didn’t totally dominate as I feared, and clearly the Red Bull is a faster car over a single lap.  Thankfully with these new regulations that single lap speed isn’t as big a factor, and a win is about how you drove, not how quickly you managed to get to your pitstops.  As for how this race will go, I’m really not too sure.  Ferrari may have taken a 1-2 victory in the first race, but Red Bull have had a couple of weeks to analyse the data and hopefully come say way towards addressing their problems.  We know they’re fast in qualifying, what price a Mark Webber pole at home?

McLaren were clearly a little off the pace in Bahrain, and I’m sure Button took a bit of a wake-up call as to just how good Lewis actually is.  They’re sure to have worked hard on whatever shortcomings the car had, and should bounce back.  At Mercedes, Michael Schumacher had a far quieter debut than expected and was outpaced by his team-mate Nico Rosberg all weekend long.  That is, until the race.  Sure, Rosberg beat him on the track, but for me the most telling part of it was in the last ten laps.  With his team-mate trying hard to chase down the ailing Vettel, Schumacher was actually the faster of the two.  The fire’s still there, make no mistake about it.

Tonio Liuzzi’s drive to ninth in the race underlined how solid the Force India car is this year.  Sure, he didn’t do anything flashy – and I’m sure that Sutil in the other car is naturally faster – but it’s a good reliable car with a decent turn of speed on it.  They had a podium (and a near win of course) last year – can they get on one of the steps again this year?  Rubens Barrichello took the final point in Bahrain, and is in a Williams car that I really like.  Just as with the Force India it’s solid, and we know Barrichello can do the job if he’s able to.  Another one for podiums this year if the big four falter, and I just have a gut feeling it might be sooner rather than later.  Hulkenberg wasn’t too far off either.

The Renault team had a good qualifying, and if it hadn’t have been for a first lap spin for Kubica I’m sure he’d have finished 9^th.  Vitaly Petrov in the other car was a bit of a disappointment, but this week I’d expect them to have a decent go – expect Kubica in qualifying 3 again.  Toro Rosso looked a bit like… well, Minardi.  Which shouldn’t be a surprise – it IS Minardi.  Some would put that down to the fact that it’s their own car this year, and not just a rebadged Red Bull – but come on, look at it.  If it’s not a copy of the Red Bull, it’s an evolution of last year’s car so isn’t all that different.  The problem lies, I think, with the fact that they have a couple of midfield drivers.  If that’s what you’ve got, then that’s how you do.

BMW Sauber was the biggest disappointment of Bahrain.  In testing they’d looked like they may have done a Brawn and risen from the ashes with a car immediately on the pace.  Sadly, they were at the tail end of the established teams, but with a copy of the McLaren’s controversial F-Duct system being ready in time to be trialled during practice they’re obviously fighting hard to show that early promise hasn’t gone out of the window.  Virgin were the fastest of the new teams in qualifying, narrowly edging out the Lotuses.  If they can work on the reliability of the car, they could start to challenge midfield.

It was a nice solid day for Bruno Senna and Karun Chandhok in the HRTs, too.  Sure, the car’s miles off the pace and unreliable – but they gave it their best and look forward to them getting a bit more out of it.  And just how nice a chap is Senna?  I haven’t met him, but I did meet his Uncle once – and he’s just the same.  It was scary to see his eyes through his helmet, it’s like it’s the same person. Ayrton used to say God was with him in the cockpit – Bruno could say this too, but I suspect it’s a different God!

I can’t finish my look at the teams though without a mention of Lotus.  OK, I’m convinced.  They’re a good little team, and I’m happy to give them my support.  The car really is gorgeous.  They’re still not the real Lotus, but they’ve got the spirit that I love from a team I follow in F1 – plucky underdogs, know they’re not there to win but still give their best anyway.  Getting both cars to the finish (OK, I mean “classified”) was a tremendous achievement, and there was a fascinating comparison in last week’s Autosport that showed that when compared to the pace shown by other debutants they really weren’t that far off. 

Anyway, that was then so we need to look at now.  Unlike Bahrain, Albert Park is a track I know intimately from the many hours I’ve spent on it in Grand Prix 4 – so I thought I’d used that knowledge to look at the track in detail; whilst this is illustrated, it’s written purely from my memories of that game.

The lap starts with a decently long straight, down past the pits and into a slow chicane, that’s open enough to get a couple of cars through.  This is the sort of place that will suit Schumacher or Hamilton’s late braking style, so look for them to make up places there if they need to.

Coming out of the chicane, it’s another straight, not all that long and with a kink at the start.  This feeds into another chicane – this is a little faster, and is more open than the first one.  We see overtaking moves here, too – and carnage.  Who can forget last year, with Vettel playing bumper cars, or Martin Brundle in 1996 – overtaking half the field whilst upside down!  Out of that chicane and straight away into a 70° or so right hander that leads into a short, left-kinked straight into a 90° right hander. 

The really brave can make a pass here, but thanks to that preceding kink it’s difficult to get a run on someone.  When you come out of that, it’s another straight, with left and right kinks at the start of it.

This then comes down to another overtaking place, into the third chicane.  There’s normally a good bit of action here, but the most important thing for a driver is that they make a good exit.

If they’ve made that good exit, they quickly move around a curved straight that leads into what is probably the best part of the circuit for the drivers, with a very fast chicane that can be taken in fifth gear or so.  These corners really reward a well-balanced car – especially when paired with a confident driver.

After a fairly long straight, with a nice fast right-handed kink, we now move into a tricky couple of 90° right handers, that in the game at least are a lot faster than you’d think – thanks to some very forgiving camber.

Moving into the last couple of turns, what comes next is for me the trickiest corner on the circuit.  You know as you enter it you need to keep your speed up for what’s coming next, but if the preceding complex of corners are faster than they seem, this is definitely slower than it seems.  If you’ve managed to take it properly, next is a sweeping right-hander that you can take almost flat out.  Leading onto the fast main straight with the overtaking place at the end of it, this is perhaps the most important corner of the lot.

So that's it.  As the locals say... what a great place for a race!  Or was that Adelaide? ;)

Nigel Mansell picture reproduced under the Creative Commons 2.0 licence – photo by Stuart Seeger.  Cropped and lightened from the original file at http://www.flickr.com/photos/stuseeger/202558636/

Felipe Massa picture reproduced under the Creative Commons 2.0 licence – photo by Andrew Griffith.  Copy of the original file at http://flickr.com/photos/20910509@N04/4432746837

Ted Kravitz picture reproduced under the Creative Commons 2.0 licence – photo by Dan Smith.

Fernando Alonso picture reproduced under the Creative Commons 2.0 licence – photo by Andrew Griffith.  Copy of the original file at http://www.flickr.com/photos/20910509@N04/4446557942/

Nico Rosberg picture reproduced under the Creative Commons 2.0 licence – photo by Andrew Griffith.  Copy of the original file at http://www.flickr.com/photos/20910509@N04/4432777899/

Vitantonio Liuzzi picture reproduced under the Creative Commons 2.0 licence – photo by Andrew Griffith.  Copy of the original file at http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Liuzzi_Bahrain_2010.jpg

Timo Glock picture reproduced under the Creative Commons 2.0 licence – photo by Andrew Griffith.  Copy of the original file at http://www.flickr.com/photos/20910509@N04/4445791711/

Lotus picture reproduced under the Creative Commons 2.0 licence – photo by Andrew Griffith.  Copy of the original file at http://flickr.com/photos/20910509@N04/4433596850

Bruno Senna picture reproduced under the Creative Commons 2.0 licence – photo by Andrew Griffith.  Copy of the original file at http://www.flickr.com/photos/20910509@N04/4445796725/

Valentino Rossi picture and track layout taken from public domain files.

Been a while since I blogged. I do a lot of Tweeting on Twitter - follow me on @tmls - and also on my Facebook.

Anyway, I suppose I've been too busy to blog. As I mentioned, late last year I was diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes. Won't go into that again, there's already a blog on it. But, an update. I've now lost nearly 2 stone since that first diagnosis on 22nd December - so averaging a stone a month thus far, all being well.

I've done this through completely changing my lifestyle. I'm not on a diet, I've just completely changed my diet. I've gone down from about 4000 calories a day to a shade under 1500. I'm keeping the rest of my nutritional intake down below recommended daily allowances too. I'm tracking all this through a nutritional database I've created, which logs everything I'm eating. I saw a dietician this morning and she was really pleased with what I've done, and didn't want me to change much - perhaps add more vegetables, that's all. Sadly, the company I work for, Florette, don't do bags with just veg any more - but if you want to eat healthily and aren't watching your sugar intake, Florette Fruit has recently launched in Tesco - I ate a lot of it a few months ago, before the big diagnosis, and it's really good. I don't like shameless plugs, or talking about where I work, but I really mean that.

The other thing I've done is exercise. Lots and lots of exercise. I bought a Wii - despite selling one two years ago, with Wii Fit . I've been going on this as much as I can, and am averaging over half an hour a day in the month I've had it (almost). Then last week I bought EA Active too, and am now up to an hour a day. I previously wrote the Wii off as a kiddie's console, but it's actually a fantastic fitness device, and great fun too. Tonight I also returned to five-a-side footy, and wasn't half as tired as I used to be - despite spending whole time outfield, and even warming up by jogging a lap of the pitch (something I'd never have managed in the past!).

That jogging was important for me, and I've got a completely boring and unimportant exclusive for anyone reading this. I'm entering my first ever run. It's only 2k, as I suspect doing the full 10k is beyond me at this point (that's what the proper runners are doing there). I think I'll manage a reasonable job, and I'm working on things like my ankles and legs in preparation. Whilst 2k is nothing for most people, please realise that for me it's the first step on a long road. If I complete this, and I'm sure I will, I'll do another. Then, when I'm up to it I'll increase the distance. I love the idea of running, and I'm really looking forward to be able to do it - even if it takes me a few years before I can do it properly.

The race then is part of the "Florette Fradley 10k" and takes place the day after my birthday (thankfully I'm tea-total now!) next month. You can sponsor me on my Just Giving page. I'd appreciate ANY donations as I've only had my brother do it so far, apart from some offline ones. As little as you like, it all goes to a Cancer charity and it's a worthwhile cause (it's who the run's in aid of). I'll update my JustGiving page with details of the race once my entry's gone through, and will mention it on Twitter/Facebook nearer the time.

Well, thanks for reading - hope you're still awake.

Until next time...

Daniel

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